Chapter 1

Friday night: I went out with friends to karaoke, each member of the crew excited for different

reasons. Most were happy to do something fun after a grueling week at work, while Dennis, my

best friend, was just excited to watch the big game.

It was all he’d been talking about for weeks.

He pulled out his phone as soon as we got to the karaoke bar, and his eyes have been glued to the

screen ever since. I knew better than to bother him when it came to sports, so I kept silent.

Besides, I had my attentions focused on something else entirely.

And that something was Vanessa.

The peachy pink curly-haired goddess was up first for our group, her voice as enchanting as her

looks. As she continued singing “Kid” by The Pretenders, our friend group cheered her on as if

they were life-long fans.

Well, they can get in line. I’ll always be her number-one fan.

Still fixated on the game, Dennis said: “If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve only thought

about giving her the letter. Not about what comes after.”

“I have no control over anything,” I replied, “beyond putting myself out there.”

“Indeed,” Dennis added. “However, they say the best and worst day of someone’s life is to obtain

their heart’s desire. My question to you is, are you prepared for a yes?”

I was not.

***

I’d had a long-time crush on Vanessa since we first met, and to this day, I could never tell her

how I feel about her. I’d made plenty of excuses as to why I shouldn’t confess my feelings, until

Dennis goaded me.

Reluctantly, I wrote a letter with all my feelings put into it—hoping to tell her someday... but that

day never seemed to come.

But now it didn’t matter if I was ready or not. The party wasn’t just a group of friends and co-

workers having a little fun together; it was Vanessa’s going-away party. There was a high chance

I would never see her again.

The night pressed on, and I decided to go out back and have a smoke to calm my nerves. I hadn’t

yet gotten a chance to be alone with her, because she was always surrounded by people.

I had to tell her. I’d run out of time.

I fingered the sealed love letter that was hidden in my pocket, rubbing the paper in-between my

fingers, hoping it would give me a little courage.

“I can do this…” I said softly to myself.

In that very moment, the door opened, and Vanessa appeared. “I thought I’d find you here, Wes.”

“I needed some fresh air.”

“Says the guy with the cigarette,” she laughed. “Do you mind if I bum one?”

A smile crept along my face as I gave her a cigarette and helped her light it. We stood there, side

by side, smoking silently together.

After a while, I couldn’t take it anymore, and asked the first thing that came to my mind, “Are

you enjoying the party?”

“I am,” she responded. Everyone is acting like I’m leaving the country or something, but I’ll

just be working a few blocks away from everyone from now on.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t appeal to our sense of theatricality.”

Vanessa laughed boisterously. I was feeling a bit more confident after making her laugh like that,

and continued to study her as she smoked.

After a brief silence, Vanessa spoke. “You know, you were a shoo-in for the peripheral role to my

position at the new HQ.”

“So I’ve heard,” I commented.

“Why didn’t you apply?”

“Truth be told, I didn’t want to disappoint.”

“That’s fair, but you wouldn’t have,” she added softly.

As I looked at her face, I knew she meant it. She isn’t the kind of person to say nice words to

anyone just to make them feel better. She always means everything that she says.

For a split moment, we looked into each other’s eyes, not saying a single word.

My mind began to race with the constant mantra of “this is the moment”.

I gripped the sealed love letter that was still in my pocket and started to slowly pull it out, but

then…

I hesitated, still holding onto the letter. I couldn’t do it. It was the perfect moment, but I still

couldn’t find the courage to do it.

“It’s getting late, I should get going,” I said.

“Get home safely,” she said as she put an arm around me in a hug. “And Wes—don’t be a

stranger, okay?”

I forced a happy smile on my face as she released me from the hug.

“Of course, I won’t be. I hope for the best for you, Vanessa.”

With that, I started to walk away from what could have been the love of my life, into the night. I

could tell that she was still watching me walk away, but when I turned back to get one last look

at her...

She was gone.

Welp, that’s that, I guessed.

Deciding not to hail a cab since I only lived a few blocks away, everything seemed to finally

catch up to me. Unbeknownst to anyone walking in the city streets during this time of night, I

was having an extreme inner battle with myself.

Why didn’t I do it? Why didn’t I tell her?

You got your chance and you blew it, you coward!

I replayed the moment repeatedly in my head, wondering why I chickened out at the most crucial

moment.

Perhaps... some people are just meant to only be crushes, and nothing more. Maybe I just…didn’t

want to ruin the fantasy.

That was the only reasonable conclusion I could draw from my actions that night. I didn’t want

to ruin what we already had, so it was best for everyone if we stayed as we were, me admiring

her from afar.

I stopped in my tracks.

No, enough is enough! I enjoy her company and everything about her, and if I never ask her, I’ll

always be wondering what could have been. I have to tell her tonight, or it’ll drive me crazy for

the rest of my life.

I turned on my heel to run back to the karaoke bar, but it was too late.

That thought would be my last.

I was so distracted that I didn’t hear the creaking, the gears grinding together as they were

released, nor the cries of warning from people who were watching from afar—too far away to

step in and save me from my fate.

It only took a second.

As I turned my head, I saw a piece of sheet glass flying toward me. I felt a searing pain as I

gripped onto the letter for dear life.

And then...

Nothing.

Total darkness.

***

I remembered back when I was 25, meeting Vanessa for the first time. It was my first day at the

company, but I couldn’t help but think about hoping to find love. False darlings aside, I had yet

to meet her. But that spring felt different from the others.

She was enchanting as she entered the room, all smiles and endless possibilities.

I didn’t believe in love at first sight. However, I just knew it had to be her. No one else.

We shook hands.

***

The memory faded as I felt nothing.

I guess this is Death…

Then a light started to appear through the darkness... starting small, but quickly engulfing me.

***

I was so cold.

My butt felt wet.

Wait, I survived?

I heard shrill crying, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from? But at the same time, my

mouth was gaping open and I felt vibrations in my throat...

That can’t be me. My voice?!

The crying stopped as my mouth shut.

I looked around and saw doctors.

Nurses.

A strange man and—

Oh shit! That’s Vanessa. What’s she doing here?

Vanessa was in a hospital gown... and while she was always beautiful to me, she looked like a

real mess.

She started to come near me, opening her arms as if she was trying to pick up something small.

Then it felt like she was cradling me.

Wait, cradled? I’m not imagining it, I really am that small.

Vanessa smiled down at me with all the love a new mother could give, as her fingers brushed the

birthmark on my neck.

“Hi, Lee.”

I screamed.

TO BE CONTINUED IN

REBORN AS THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION’S CHILD