Chapter 6 – Before Tomorrow

It's the eve of my future… I thought, staring out the car window, my arm over Summer as she dozed. 

Julian was driving the four of us, on our way out of town for a camping trip. 

But everything feels off…

And for some reason, I can't picture anything beyond this getaway. 

I wasn't aware that Vanessa was staring at me through the rearview mirror, deep in thought about what she had found in my room. At that moment, Summer opened her eyes and stared back at Vanessa's reflection. Vanessa tried to hide how disturbed she was by Summer's energy and body language, but she smiled at her in the mirror, trying to hide her discomfort. 

***

We parked the car by the river, staring out into the water. 

"There's Snakeskin Isle,” Julian informed us, pointing to a small tree-shrouded island. 

"How exactly are we supposed to get there?” I asked, again unaware of Vanessa's pensive gaze. 

"Tell me we aren't swimming,” whined Summer. 

Julian gave Summer a sly smile. "We'll use the dinghy over by the dock.” 

***

We headed down the dock and started to board the dinghy. The boat rocked as I tried to help Summer get in. 

Julian and I rowed together. Summer was enjoying the ride, but Vanessa was looking rather gloomy as she stared down into the water. 

About twenty minutes later, we arrived at the island and began offboarding. Julian helped Summer to stand and step up onto the dock, steadying her with his hands on her shoulders. Wanting to help Vanessa, I extended my hand out towards her, and there was an awkwardly long pause before she finally took my hand. I asked her if everything was okay. 

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind,” she replied. 

"Don't forget that this is a vacation, Mom.” 

"Right…” she said, visibly distracted. 

We then began trekking through the woods in search of our campsite, with Julian carrying our four backpacks and a hunting rifle slung over his shoulder. 

***

The sun had begun to set as we finally came upon a small log cabin. While I wasn't as excited as Julian and Summer, I was glad to be there and looked forward to the trip. But when I glanced over at Vanessa, she looked reserved. 

“All right, we made it,” Julian huffed, as he dropped the bags on the log porch. 

“Yeah, but the day is just about over,” I complained. 

"No worries!” Julian said, bright-eyed and beaming. "We'll build a bonfire once we've gotten situated inside.” 

"S’mores?!” Summer asked with childish excitement. 

“You know it!” Julian said, elated at Summer's enthusiasm for the trip he’d planned. 

But then, Julian's focus shifted over to Vanessa, who was blankly staring down at the porch's wooden planks. He frowned slightly, concerned by her lack of energy and uncharacteristic aloofness. 

We entered the cabin, and Summer and I unloaded our bags onto the sleeper sofa. As I started to unpack a few necessities for the night, I couldn't help but listen in on the conversation between Vanessa and Julian in the adjacent bedroom. 

“Is everything all right?” I heard Julian ask. 

“Yeah,” replied Vanessa with a subtle sigh. 

Julian lowered his voice slightly, so I had to focus and listen more closely to what they were saying. “Are you sure?” Julian asked. “You've been distant for weeks now. I thought this trip would bring you back to me.” 

“You're sweet. Thank you. But I'll be fine, okay?”

“Okay, I'll take your word for it,” Julian said, his tone indicating he wasn’t convinced. "But please let me know if there’s something bothering you, or that you want to talk about.” 

***

The four of us sat around the crackling fire pit, holding our marshmallow sticks out towards the fire. It was so peaceful out here, with the stars shining brighter than I'd seen since Wes' childhood camping trips. 

"Congrats to the high school graduates!” Julian exclaimed, breaking the silence. 

Summer raised her stick with blackened marshmallow up to the sky. "Woo hoo hoo!” she sing-songed, as I dipped into a slight bow. 

Thrilled with how the trip was going so far, Julian put his arm around Vanessa, and she leaned into it. 

“After this trip, we'll be sending our boy out into the world,” Julian lamented, raising his stick just like Summer did. "May he flourish!” 

At that, we all raised our sticks. 

***

SUMMER:

I tossed and turned on the sofa bed, next to a sleeping Lee. The[PC3]  dynamic between Lee and his mother had been so off that I couldn’t stop ruminating over it. Even thinking back to the night of our first date and how they interacted when she picked him up. His body language and demeanor in her presence was so strangely intimate—like how I would hope he would be with me. 

I knew Lee loved me, but he never really allowed himself to be as loose and intimate with me as he was with his mother.  

Despite loving me, he’s not as crazy about me as he is… I can’t believe I’m thinking this… with his mom. 

My thoughts continued to race. This is so stupid. I’ve got to be just imagining things that aren’t there and reading too far into it. Right?! I mean, that would be insane. 

It was our last few days together before we would go to separate colleges. Why am I brooding about that first date night? Our relationship has developed and grown so much. His bond with his mom should be no threat to me. Even if I do feel it’s a little Oedipal at times. 

I leaned into Lee for comfort and tried to ease myself back to sleep. He stirred and put his arm around me. “Hey…” I whispered. 

“What’s up?” he asked, becoming more alert. 

“Promise you won’t forget about me…” I choked out, trying so hard not to cry. 

Lee looked me in the eyes and gave me a really tender hug. Why am I doubting his love? 

“Never,” he reassured me, opening his arms for me to bury my face into his chest. 

We laid together like that for the rest of the night, me cuddled into his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. 

***

ME:

“Lee…” Vanessa’s[PC4]  voice cut through my sleep. I blinked and looked up at her, standing at the side of the sofa bed. Her forehead was furrowed slightly, and I could tell that something was truly bothering her. She wouldn’t have woken me up like that if it wasn’t serious. 

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “What’s up, Mom?” 

“I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Okay…” I said, getting out of bed and standing to face her.  “What is this about?” 

“About someone who is no longer here.” 

Her cryptic answer had me thinking about Dennis. 

“How do you know Wesley Stokes?” 

My heart sank into my gut. Oh shit! This is it. My mind started to spiral, panicking about where this conversation was about to go. 

“He was a former co-worker of mine,” Vanessa said solemnly. “And…” 

At that moment, I could somehow feel Dennis’ presence around me, reassuring me that this was going to be okay-– “It’s time,” I could imagine him saying. I started to calm down. 

“He died in a freak accident right after your promotion party. There was karaoke that night at the bar. You sang “Kid” by The Pretenders.” 

“I don’t understand, why would your grandfather tell you about that?” 

“Dennis didn’t have to, I…” I trailed off, looking at Vanessa who appeared to be hanging on my every word. “I lived it,” I said tenuously.

“What do you mean,” Vanessa stammered, clearly confused and anxious about what I was telling her. 

I pointed at my birthmark, the exact spot where the sheet-metal sliced through my neck. 

“Coincidence,” she said, but I could tell that she didn’t really believe what she’d just said. 

“I was reborn a few years after my death,” I began to explain. “Even as an infant, I maintained my adult mental capacity. Didn’t you notice anything weird about my behavior when I was a baby?” 

Vanessa’s mouth gaped open slightly. “No, no, no!” she faltered. 

I took a step towards her, but she backed up all the way to the cabin’s front door. 

“How is this possible?” she gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know how this happened. I was so confused when I woke up as a screaming baby,” I explained. “When I got older and could finally tell you, I had already adjusted and accepted this life. I didn’t want to complicate anything.” 

“My baby boy isn’t who I thought he was,” she started to sob. “He never truly existed?” Vanessa looked at me, visibly heartbroken. 

“I’m who you thought. And more. But the person you love and care about and vice-versa is real,” I tried to reassure her. “He’s me. I am Lee Hart. I had to put Wes to bed.” 

“What about what you said in the letter?” Vanessa asked after a moment of silence. 

“When I saw the letter again, it brought back my feelings. I, as Wes, meant every word in it. But living as Lee has helped me see beyond how I used to feel. I realized that at the heart of my feelings for you, was a desire to get to know you better, and to be someone of real importance to you. To find out who you really were... outside of the ideal that I had built in my head.” 

I continued on, as Vanessa’s shoulders slowly began to relax against the closed door. 

“I truly see you now. And really admire the person you are. I love you.” 

Vanessa continued to stare at me. But all of a sudden, her gaze shifted past my head and her eyes grew wide in shock, as if she saw a ghost standing before the bathroom.  

I started to hear footsteps and began to turn around, but Summer flew right past me and ran at Vanessa, a chef’s knife raised in her hand. 

I jolted towards the door, but couldn’t make it to stop Summer before she thrust the knife straight into Vanessa’s stomach. 

“Summer!” I shouted as she pulled the knife out and plunged it right back in. “The way he said those three words to you!” she spat at Vanessa.

I tried to pull Vanessa away from the knife’s trajectory, as Summer was about to stab her again. 

But before I knew it, a searing pain was radiating from my abdomen. 

I collapsed onto the floor where Vanessa was already laying, rapidly bleeding out. 

Dizzy with my own blood loss, I tried to look up at Summer, who was shaking as she slowly backed away from the entryway. 

I heard the door creak open behind me, but couldn’t lift my head and turn to see who it was.

“What happened?!” I could hear Julian shout, and the knife clanged to the floor. 

“I’m so sorry!” Summer choked out, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I didn’t…” 

As Summer stood there still in shock, Julian ran towards the bathroom and aimed the rifle he had just been out hunting with. Summer tried to push the bathroom door open behind her and retreat but Julian pulled the trigger, his bullet hitting Summer right in the chest. She had barely begun to bleed before falling to the floor with a thud. 

***

Julian crouched down to check on us, pressing a hand to each of our wounds, trying to stop the bleeding, but it wasn’t helping. I was beginning to lose consciousness, and Vanessa was already laying motionless with closed eyes. 

“It’ll be okay, I’m calling 911,” Julian said as he frantically patted his pockets in search of his phone. “I’ll be right back,” he panted, jogging towards the bedroom for his phone. 

Here we go again. A gory sudden death. Can self-aware reincarnation happen twice? I wonder what my next life will be like. Hopefully I don’t return as Vanessa’s dog... 

It was all my fault. Summer had given me everything she had and more, but I could never admit that my heart wasn’t fully invested in the relationship. I chased maturity, sanity, a sense of self, all the while ironically straying further from those goals, and ultimately stringing her along. I deserved Summer’s wrath. But Vanessa hadn’t... 

My thoughts raced, and Julian’s search for his phone felt like an eternity. I began to think back to something that Dennis had said when I was younger: “You and I both know nothing good will come from this situation,” I imagined him saying, and I chuckled, hot blood gurgling up my throat.

In the following weeks, our murders would be the talk of the news world. Both the cabin and Snakeskin Isle were seen as cursed, because the public believed nothing good could come from staying on a remote island that saw two murders in one day. 

It took years for Julian to recover and come to terms with what happened. But once he finally did, he prospered. 

But before all that…

As Vanessa and I both drifted away, she became just alert enough to reach out with her hand. I leaned into the moment, allowing our fingers to lace together in a gesture that encapsulated her affection for both sides of me. I not only felt the love of a parent, but also the love that comes from two people finally realizing the special bond that existed between them. 

I hoped that in my next life, I would experience another love. Real, genuine, and natural love... and finally find a middle ground between romantic love and obsession. 

Epilogue

THEN

VANESSA:

I  sat frozen as my boss, Steve, stormed out of my office, frustrated that the team had hit just shy of our numbers for the month. 

I folded my arms and rested my head, feeling downtrodden and hopeless. This was the second quarter in a row that we didn’t surpass our goal. I hoped the others didn’t hear that very one-sided conversation with Steve. 

There was a knock at the door. 

“Come in!” I picked my head up and tried to make my voice sound cheerful. 

“It’s Wes,” he said, cautiously swinging the door open. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Hey, yeah, sorry to bother you…” he stammered. “I just wanted to say…” 

“What’s up?” I thought it was kind of cute the way he always began our conversations with such shyness. 

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great manager,” he said. “Everyone out there does too. No one can take that away from you. So, try not to let things from the higher-ups get you down,” he smiled. “Okay?”

I couldn’t help but smile back. Although awkward, his words were comforting, and I appreciated his presence. 

“Thank you, Wes. I appreciate it,” I responded, as he was already on his way back out the door. 

It was so kind of him. Wes had always been cordial and helpful, but something about how he took the time to come speak to me when I needed it the most really drew me towards him. 

I started recalling other past interactions with him. He really was cute.

I felt my cheeks grow warm with a blush as I tapped my foot, thinking. 

I’d like to get to know him better.