03

A voice came from the bushes. It belonged to Matt, the Half-Dragon. “Um… Hey, is everything okay?”

Matt was a short, bipedal, purple draconic humanoid. His white underbelly started at his snout and extended to the length of his full, meaty tail. A ragged cloak draped from a leather collar, which partially obscured a tight bandage wrapped around his chest. A satchell squeezed against his plump, healthy thighs, and two small horns poked from the top of his messy, long white hair.  His accent was hard to place, but he sounded relaxed.

If you asked Matt to describe himself, he’d casually ask “why?” This was not his attempt to be defensive, but instead, just a result of Matt’s mostly hermetic lifestyle. He had few questions in his own life, fewer about the lives of others, and expected others to follow suit. He was someone who lived on the edges of society, and found a unique comfort in going his own way and drawing very little interest.

If you asked Kai to describe Matt, he would say that he was “scruffy”.

“There you are! I’m so happy you found us!” Ushida ran in for a hug. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Her ears happily wiggled. Ushida and the royal family of the Cow Kingdom were Taurines, a race who, due to various magics, developed an individualized assortment of bovine traits.

Within the Taurine race were a full spectrum between indistinguishably human and indistinguishably cow. Ushida looked much like a standard human except for her soft, bovine-like ears, the rounded horns that sat on the side of her head, and her hooves that she had instead of feet. 

Ushida would also openly and shamelessly argue that her enormous breasts were another taurine trait of hers. Although she was average for a humanoid Taurine, no human could come close to matching her size.

Matt openly returned Ushida’s hug. “It’s good. Those tendrils he cut were from my tail, and that grows back easily.” Matt playfully slapped his tail to emphasize its hardiness. “Want me to use them again?”

“Wait, I need to let Mister Knight know!” said the Princess, turning back to Kai, who was still struggling to process the situation.

“…Know what?”

“This is my boyfriend, Matt! He’s a half-dragon who learned shapeshifting, isn’t that cool?”

Kai took a step back. “Boyfriend… as in…”

Matt made a hand gesture that could only be interpreted as sexual.

“So you’re…”

To confirm, Matt made a different hand gesture that was more sexual than the last.

“Yup, it’s true!” Ushida stepped in. “The two of us are involved romantically and sexually.” Although her spoken statement could be read as neutral, she accompanied it with hand gestures that made Matt’s look tame by comparison.

“But that can’t be! You’re engaged to the Prince of Catland!”

Matt and Ushida shrugged in unison. “We’re polyamorous, so it’s cool.”

“That’s not the issue here…” Kai looked devastated. “I joined the knighthood because you are supposed to represent all that is pure and just in this world. I took to heart everything you said about the joys of an orderly monarchy.” He thought back to Ushida’s pop idol concerts he saw in person. Selling Ushida as a pro-monarchy idol was a novel new strategy to recruit internationally for the Cow Kingdom military. It worked completely on Kai.

He continued. “So for this unsanctioned relationship to flourish-“ At this point, Kai started to look uneasy as he struggled to express himself, “-feels like such a betrayal!”

“Betrayal?” Ushida leaned forward with curiosity. “Because I can date you too.”

Kai was losing his composure. “That isn't the issue here!” He caught himself raising his voice as he began to feel strong emotions, and he knew that he needed to stop this conversation before they got higher. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and reset himself. 

“Well, I suppose if that’s your business, then so be it. Princess Ushida, you seem to be fine and are protected by this … person, so I must leave to continue patrolling the forest.”

He turned around and began walking his usual path. Matt and Ushida stayed where they were, their eyes fixated on Kai’s body while they snuggled up.

“Ah, he’s really cute…”  said the Princess.

“I bet he has daddy issues,” whispered Matt.

“I’d guess he suffered some sort of personal betrayal during childhood”

“Either way, he’s a seriously messed up adult.”

“Just how I like them,” purred Ushida.

They kept talking, and were happy when Kai made a full revolution, returning to their spot. Kai gave them a nod, trying to stay professional. “He seems like a bottom,” loudly suggested Matt, making eye contact with Kai as he passed.

“I wouldn’t mind either way. I’d just want to listen to what he’s into.”

“I wonder what it’d take to get him to open up.”

Kai, desperately, tried to not listen.

By the second time Kai’s cycle brought him back to Ushida and Matt, they were ravenously kissing and groping one another, all while continuing to openly and loudly speculate about Kai.

When Kai returned for his third loop, Ushida and Matt were exhausted from a session of lovemaking that Kai, luckily, had missed.

Their talk about Kai persisted. “His face is so graceful and soft,” said Ushida, and Matt was eager to agree. “It’s rare to find that in a guy who’s committed to the military. I’d say he’s undeniably handsome.” 

When Kai saw Ushida and Matt on his fourth cycle around the forest, they were now fully clothed, looking tidy, recovered from their voracious dragon-on-taurine lovemaking. Somehow, they still hadn’t run out of things to say about Kai. “You should ask him out,” said Matt. 

“I need to. He’s exactly our type!” said the Princess in agreement. Ushida skipped to Kai, and greeted him in a singsong voice. “Pardon me, Mister Knight~”

“Yes, Princess Ushida. How may I serve you.” Kai stood at attention, ready to receive orders, with perfect posture, drawing his uniform tight against his body. The previous mischief from Ushida had no effect on Kai’s ability to perform his job with professionalism. In fact, Kai was proud that he would be able to protect the dignity of the Cow Kingdom by forgetting the entire order.

“What is your name, Knight??”

“My name is Senno, my first name is Kai.”

“Kai? So… What are you into?”

“I’m a recent graduate of the Military Academy of the Cow Kingdom. My purpose is to serve the Cow Kingdom and its Royal Family.”

“But have you ever wanted… to be more than a knight?”

“Serving the Cow Kingdom and its Royal Family is the greatest honor. I want nothing more in life.”

“What if I told you I wanted you as more than a knight?”

“Well,  the Knighthood of the Cow Kingdom does have some additional special subcategories and ranks if I were to pursue other duties within the Knighthood, but for my intents and purposes, there’s no higher militaristic class. As a recent graduate, I’m happy with my position as a low-level Knight, serving the people of the Cow Kingdom.”

“I suppose I need to be more direct.” Ushida grabbed his hand. “I want you in my harem! As my newest boyfriend!”

“No thank you, Princess.”

Ushida released his hand, utterly shocked at Kai’s response. “As a knight, I’m forbidden from taking a lover. There are no exceptions.” He mentally went over the specific rules in his head and then turned away. “I’m going to continue my patrol. Please let me know if I can assist you as a Knight in any other way.” He resumed walking towards the woods.

Ushida still wasn’t sure what happened. “He… turned me down? But no one’s ever turned me down…” Matt was quick to comfort his girlfriend, wrapping his tail over Ushida’s shoulder so she could cry into it.

“Don’t worry. He’s not getting away that easily.” Matt’s tongue deviously licked his short dragon snout. “Wait here.” He cautiously reclaimed his tail from his lover and casually walked alongside Kai. “So, are you sure you don’t want her?”

“I’m a knight. And I intend to serve for life. As such I am forbidden from both romantic and sexual relationships.”

“But she’s the princess, and isn’t this all for her?”

“My method of serving her is different from that of a lover.”

“And that’s why you pass!”

“…What?”

“You pass!” repeated Matt, with enthusiasm. “No Knight has ever rejected the Princess before. Which means you’re a truly lawful person, worthy of being the Princess’ personal bodyguard. Will you accept?”

Kai, in shock, briskly walked back to Ushida. He leaned down and whispered with barely hidden excitement. “Are you seriously asking me to be your personal bodyguard?” He could barely get the words out.

Ushida nodded to confirm, and Kai couldn’t hold back his enthusiasm.

“Of course I accept!” He happily waved his hands, his words could barely keep up with his thoughts. “This is the highest honor a Knight can receive! I promise, I’ll do my best, your Majesty! Oh! We can have a ceremony, and the royal family and their guests will be there…” His list of hopes kept growing, and he kept prattling on, not caring if Ushida and Matt were listening.

Matt leaned in and whispered to Ushida. “This is sorta like…”

Ushida finished his thought. “He’s acting like a bride-to-be…”

The two of them dreamily sighed together, happy to see Kai so happy. “He’s so cute!”