Chapter 4: Moving Forward

After that night, things started going pretty well between Summer and I. It was as if I was finally

forging my own identity, free of my past self’s attachment to Vanessa. We went on dates, studied

together, and held hands in public, to the resentment of several male students. When we applied

to high schools, we got accepted into the same one, and Summer was ecstatic. I was kind of

looking forward to it, too.

I was doing fine playing my role as Vanessa’s son and Summer’s boyfriend, but sometimes I still

had this itch. The itch to check on the people from my old life from time to time. One evening I

longed to know how my real mom was doing. I found Matthew and Patricia Stokes, now in their

50s, on Facebook.

It seemed like my mom and dad were doing well. I even saw photos of my brother, Eric, with

three children. I was an uncle!

Or at least I would have been.

An image from that night flashed into my mind, making me shudder. After some deep breaths, I

raised a shaking hand to the birthmark on my neck–that exact spot where the sheet metal hit me,

canceling out my life and thrusting me into this alternate reality.

Looking at my parents, happy and healthy, made me think that perhaps I didn’t appreciate my

family when I was alive as Wes. I loved them, but I took them for granted and stayed

preoccupied with work and my social life. We don’t realize what we take for granted in life until

it is gone.

I scrolled down further on my mom’s page and saw a picture of my parents and Eric’s family,

with a caption that read “Happy Birthday, Wes! We miss and think of you every day. Love Mom

and Family.”

My eyes started to tear as I closed the page, and I felt an unsettling emptiness that followed me to

sleep.

***

Vanessa went to work early the next day and I didn’t have school, so it was just THAT guy at

home with me. We sat on the couch watching TV together because, even though I feel incredibly

awkward around him and had yet to claim him as my dad, I still kept the peace. He also never

learned how to connect with me, which clearly bothered him over the last 14 years.

Guess I should probably cut the guy some slack.

It’s not his fault that things are the way they are. And I decided to give up on Vanessa a long

time ago.

With that thought in mind, I asked what he had planned that day.

His head swiveled towards me in surprise, not that I blamed him. Showing interest in him and

spending time with him was out-of-character of me.

“I’ve got a program to attend,” he replied.

“Oh... okay.” I didn’t know what he meant by “a program,” but it sounded important.

After another moment of silence, I spoke up and asked, “May I join you?”

All of a sudden, his eyes were so much brighter. He gave a surprised smile and said, “Of course

you can.”

We headed to a fancy hotel that looked like only rich people or celebrities stayed at. I was so

nervous being around such glamorous-looking people that I tucked myself behind him a little as

we continued to make our way inside.

I didn’t understand. He said we had a program to attend, so why are we in a hotel? I thought it

was something to support his work.

As we entered the packed ballroom, I saw a poster for Suspiria, a ‘70s horror movie that I

enjoyed in my previous life. I was surprised in general at the nature of the event, but I grew even

more excited when I saw the Jessica Harper, sitting adjacent to the poster, joined by a

moderator.

“It’s a 35mm screening followed by a Q&A with the star,” he informed me.

Sitting next to one of the moderators at the panel was none other than Jessica Harper. I couldn’t

believe that I was seeing the star herself in person.

I looked at him in astonishment.

“I didn’t know you were into these kinds of movies. I always thought... that you were kind of

boring, no offense.”

He smirked. “You’d be surprised, the things I’m into.”

As he said this, the lights darkened, and we arrived at our seats.

Throughout the movie, we chatted quietly, and I felt like we bonded a bit. He pointed out various

mises en scène, and we told each other different little facts we had each learned about the film. I

was shocked that this guy, whom I had always felt awkward around and had zero in common

with, was able to keep up with the old Wes's level of horror film knowledge.

After the screening, we moved to another line to get Jessica Harper's autograph. When it was our

turn, my dad handed a copy of the DVD to Jessica.

"Hi, thanks for coming! Who should I make this out to?”

"Julian, please.”

Julian? I let a slight cough escape me.

Later, as we walked to the car, "Julian” put his arm around my shoulder. I thought that maybe I

should stop referring to him as "that man.” He really wasn't so bad. In another life, I thought we

could have been friends. But in this life... I was glad to start calling him Dad.